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Opinion

Fan Mail #1

by M. Lewis Barker

You should follow @Provo_Music on Twitter for all sorts of treats and goodies.

Hey everyone, lately I’ve been getting plenty of e-mails, but most of those are people either asking me to review albums/shows or sometimes even asking me to help book a show! But I also get the occasional bit of fan mail, telling me what a great job I’ve been doing. Just yesterday I saw this lovely e-mail from “Richard” in my inbox and I wanted to share it with everyone:

Mike,
I just wanted to let you know what a total douchebag you are–or at least how absolutely shitty your music reviews are. I can’t speak for your character as an individual, but I’m not surprised in the least that no one in Provo reads, follows, or otherwise pays any attention at all to your blog.
Please don’t take this as a personal attack. I’m just sick of side-liners who play in washed-up, unoriginal bands but feel like they are entitled to make crap judgements from some sort of pretentious, god-given soap box. (Yes, I’ve listened to Wild Apple’s music, and I’ve even seen you play live, and you were pretty awful). But really, the internet has enough junk on it without your meaningless contributions. 
So please, do your part to make the world a better place and stop writing such lame reviews. Consider this hiatus as a form of community service; some people have to go out of their way to help the world around them by picking up trash, volunteering, planting trees, or donating to charity. All you have to do is stop what you’re doing, and go do something else. Masturbation, crochet, cooking, or even just playing halo all day would be much more productive and meaningful than your current music blogging.
If, because of your incredibly douchebag-distorted view of reality, you think that this is funny or a joke, it’s not. Really, I mean it. Please stop writing that piece of shit blog of yours.
Sincerely,

T.

Thanks for the kind words, Richard! I always appreciate when someone takes time out of their day to write me!
mlewisbarker

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