By Zach Collier
Jake Segura was a sophomore in college when his mental health began deteriorating. He was having panic attacks and severe episodes of depression. He started failing classes and eventually flunked out. Distraught, Segura began harming himself.
“I remember stretches of multiple days when I couldn’t get myself to leave my bed,” Segura says. “I remember thinking ‘I have great parents, a solid support system – this can’t be as bad as It feels. Am I really this dramatic?’ For some reason, I felt like my life looked good on the outside and that I didn’t have anything to justify what was happening internally.”
In 2016, that pressure and suppression sent him to the hospital.
It was there in a psych ward that a napkin changed the life he tried to kill. With pen in hand, Segura wrote down three words: “Let it burn.”
And the music started spilling out.
The music hasn’t stopped flowing since. That experience spawned what would later become his band’s second single, “Let It Burn.” After leaving treatment, Segura went on to form Citizen Soldier, recruiting guitarists Matt Duffney and Kooper Hanosky, bassist/keyboardist Wonitta, and drummer Kyle Persell. Now a practicing clinical therapist in Utah, Segura implements intensely emotional lyrical themes on mental health and pairs them with his band’s angsty, anthemic sound.
Not only does he write from experience, but his clinical practice also informs the way he approaches their subject matter. “I think it has helped me be more attuned to patterns of what people are struggling with as a community. People will always have their unique traumas and stories – but it has been interesting to pick up on societal issues that I become more familiar with the more that I meet with people,” Segura says. “The more time I put into listening to those that are struggling, the more power I have in speaking to their struggles. The more time I spend in the trenches working to understand those struggling with their mental health, the more people care about what I have to say.”
Every band member is equally as passionate about Citizen Soldier’s cause: presenting an accessible message that combats stigmatization and provides a group therapy dynamic. On their recent, sold out national tour, Segura once joked during a show that they should have Citizen Soldier-branded tissue boxes at the front of the stage. “Joking aside,” he said, “It’s okay to cry here. We’re all about that. This is a safe place to feel.”
While Segura cites that fateful day in 2016 for the creation of Citizen Soldier, he acknowledges that his healing wasn’t instantaneous. It was a process. But what pulled him from the darkness and set him back on a road to love and self-acceptance?
“It wasn’t one thing,” he says. “I have wonderful parents that supported me and pushed me without judging me. I have a sweet wife (then girlfriend) that was able to see more in me than I was in myself at the time.” Segura tried different therapists and different types of therapy, and quickly learned that not everything works for everyone. “Some things didn’t click, others did. I credit it all to being resilient and determined to not let that setback or time of struggle in my life be for nothing. I learned a lot about my patterns, habits, and my weaknesses. I also spent time learning to have empathy for myself and my inner-child, which was a very healing experience with one of my latter clinicians.”
Above all, starting Citizen Soldier as a passion project to talk about mental health stigma has helped him to find a purpose for all of that pain and darkness. “I feel like now – no matter what comes up in my life – it will have a productive place to go,” he says.
Throwing himself into his music has radically affected his listeners for good. At the end of a sold out show in Joliet, Illinois, Segura snuck offstage and reappeared outside the venue, waiting to greet the band’s fans. As I stood at the merch table, I watched as literally every attendee joined a line to meet him. They’re a patient bunch – Segura took his time with every patron, hearing their stories of doubt, crisis, and survival. The whole process took about three hours, and the fact that people stuck around for so long is a testament to the mark the band’s music has left on them.
One of the most touching moments was when a massive hulk of a man approached Segura. He towered over him. And for anyone who has seen how tall Jake Segura is in real life, you’d understand that towering over him is no easy feat. When this man approached, he broke down in tears. He hugged Segura, sobbed, and kissed his hands – an antiquated gesture, sure, but one that indicated such reverence and sincere gratitude that I’m literally tearing up while writing about it.
After the crowd went home, Segura was visibly drained. As he downed a bottle of water in dehydrated desperation, I couldn’t help but wonder why he did this night after night. Greeting every fan. Sticking around long after the last notes had faded.
“I don’t really have a choice,” Segura says. “I used to be the kid that sat in his closet and listened to songs with the lights off. There was something unique about that experience and connection to me – when a stranger was able to put something I felt into words without ever meeting me.” The fact that he gets to be that connection for others is sacred. And it’s a duty he doesn’t take for granted. “Truthfully, I never expected anyone beyond friends and family to hear these songs, and just wanted to consider it a therapy project and something that would allow me to get that weight off of my chest and move on. I think that the listeners have a great ‘B.S. Radar’ and can tell when a song is sincere. Our music has never been about gaining fame or making money – it was always meant to just be therapeutic. That’s why I think it’s become so incredibly therapeutic to them.”
For Segura, the most powerful experience from the last tour was when a young woman walked up to him after their show in Columbus, Ohio. She told him that she listened to him on the days when she’s too depressed to get out of bed.
“For some reason just hearing that made me borderline emotional,” Segura says. “We hear some incredible stories (and we love to hear them) but sometimes the simplest things hit you the hardest. Any time a mother comes up in tears and thanks me for the impact the music has had on their child – I make sure to give them a bear hug and let them know how grateful I am for THEIR efforts to support their child. A song can be powerful, but nothing replaces human connection like the kindness and love my mother showed me during my battle with depression.”
Jake segura is not a prophet. He’s just some guy who understands. And he wants you to know you’re not alone. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, what you look like, what you believe or don’t believe, who you love. Jake believes you deserve to live. You deserve to heal.
“Citizen Soldier will always be about one thing: suicide prevention,” he says. “We believe that all lives are infinitely valuable, regardless of your party identification, gender-identity, race, religious beliefs, etc.”
In Nashville, Segura and I spoke over the dinner table about divisive rhetoric in media, and the global trend towards tribalism and people taking hard, unwavering stances on political issues. Citizen Soldier’s focus on the value of every individual is helping to heal that divide.
“The American two-party system profits off of keeping people divided. Media outlets and politicians (on both sides of the aisle) profit off of turning people against each other,” he told me. “Special interest groups need people to be afraid of the other side in order to intensify responses from their supporters. When you talk to people about politics, you encounter every ‘thinking-error’ that you can imagine – especially lots of ‘black and white’ and/or ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking. I’ve traveled this country and met with people from all different kinds of political, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds. I genuinely believe that most people are inherently good. We live in a day and age where you can’t have a nuanced opinion on anything without being labeled as being on one side of the extreme or the other. People tend to jump to conclusions, so we focus on what we can say with confidence: your life is valuable, no matter what you’ve been through. As someone that has struggled with some real self-loathing, I believe that I’m living proof of that.”
Citizen Soldier is currently hard at work on brand new music. 2024 will be full of releases, including several high profile collaborations. One song in particular discusses struggling with trusting people and always second guessing their motives – but in a really fun way. It features Jake Scherer from the band New Medicine.
“Life is crazy,” says Jake Segura. He’s so glad he hung in there during the hardest year of his life. He encourages everyone to hold on and trust that things will get better. “Now I’m in Nashville wrapping up our 7th full-length record. I’m glad that I listened to my gut and didn’t quit on myself, because it’s been a wild and amazing ride since then.”
Make sure to follow Citizen Soldier on Instagram. Check out the music video for their song “Limit” featuring Lø Spirit below.