By Abi Falin Horspool
The Real Doug Lane’s Instagram bio says: “I write and perform music. Some is very country; some is very not. But all of it is very me.” Listening to Pocket Full of Pills, I could truly feel how “Doug” the album is. It’s raw and honest and full of feeling. I haven’t heard music in Utah like this in a long time. To truly appreciate the album, I think it’s important to understand the context of Doug’s work.
“[Pocket Full of Pills] was originally conceived as a means of addressing my own self-consciousness and insecurity,” Doug said when I asked him about the 2022 album. “Every song has a specific purpose and meaning.” Doug said that originally, the album was going to be called The King of Mediocrity and have a different spin. But as he was writing and gathering the album’s songs, Doug realized there were still depths of pain and hurt that he needed to get on paper.
Doug started playing piano when he was young, and later became a saxophonist in the 1st Armored Division Band in Germany. He said that his time in Iraq created some of the seeds for Pocket Full of Pills. Doug said he’s struggled for most of his life with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. “That trifecta of mental diseases is a b*tch to live with.”
After the Army, Doug started playing guitar and became involved in music ministry, moving to Utah in 2014. His involvement in the veteran community reminds him of the mental health struggles of his brothers and sisters in arms.
Doug started writing songs so he could hang out with the “cool kids” at Muse Music’s open mic nights (RIP Muse). Doug’s debut album, Water from the Stone, was released in 2020 and is a bit more country-sounding, reflective of Doug’s childhood in Texas. Pocket Full of Pills is more reminiscent of Doug’s other influences: Billy Joel, Pink Floyd, Lyle Lovett, Guy Clark, and Broadway musicals. Pocket Full of Pills deals with tougher subjects but has a joyful message. Doug said that writing the album “was really therapy, in a way.”
The album is a beautiful expanse of country- and rock-influenced music, with plenty of darkness and plenty of hope. Doug said that the title track is meant to show two different sides of treating depression— “the plasticky, saccharine-sweet, pseudo-cheerfulness” side and the “underlying, never-silent voice that cries out from deep in your psyche, begging, ‘Don’t give up on me.’”
“22 Brothers” is about veteran suicide:
Twenty-two brothers took their lives today
Between the praise and parades and the accolades.
They told us, “Thank you for your service” on the day we shipped;
When we come home broken, they don’t give a sh*t.
It’s a reminder to pay attention to the veterans in our lives and always care. A reminder that the experiences these soldiers had in the Armed Forces never truly go away, just are buried a little deeper.
“Church and Photographs” is probably my favorite song. There’s impactful piano in the beginning. It seems to be about having an abusive past: “Plastic smiles and airbrushed faces hide the dirty past, ‘cause we always smile for church and photographs.”
The last song on the album is a cover of Matt Maher’s “Hold Us Together.” Doug says he included it to emphasize the idea that “our best hope for survival in this life is through community, through loving and genuinely caring for one another.” Doug commented, “I didn’t want to leave the album without hope. Truth is, there is light, and it is stronger than the dark.”
Pocket Full of Pills is beautifully written, and Doug Lane is the perfect person to sing the messages it shares. Doug reflected, “I just write what I write and leave it to people like you to put labels on it. I just hope it’s ‘good.’” Well, I can safely recommend Pocket Full of Pills to anyone who wants to experience real, raw honesty paired with beautiful, pure good music.
Make sure to follow The Real Doug Lane on Instagram. You can listen to “Man Without a Home” below!