_{By Peter Michael Magazon}

Sometimes, you gotta give the people what they want.

As we all know, Orem is the real center of art and culture in Utah Valley. For years, our readers have consistently petitioned for us to reflect actual reality and to change our name. You’ve also called repeatedly for us to cover more than just music.

The day has finally come. Instead of the incredibly shortsighted and limiting Provo Music Magazine (PMM), we are now South Orem Arts Publication (SOAP).

In addition to music, we’re going to be covering everything from art installations at the empty Hungry Howie’s to esoteric dance numbers performed behind the 800 N exit Culvers at 3 AM. We’re also incredibly excited about documenting the fabled E-bike jousting competitions that are reportedly happening every Thursday night at sundown across the UVU pedestrian bridge. Is it a sport? Or performance art? Regardless, we’ve got you covered.

But don’t worry. We’re still going to make everyone incredibly upset when it comes time for Battle of the Bands season. Some things never change.

“This is a huge win for Family City USA,” says Joe King, Utah Valley State College alum and longtime proponent of Orem hegemony. “We’ve gotten Provo’s hippest and most popular music magazine to openly admit that Provo is just South Orem.”

“First we assume control of their mass media,” says Fae Knews, president of the North Orem HOA Alliance. “Then we motion at the county level to merge the cities entirely. Like the tiny yellow sun on our glorious white flag, Orem’s greatness will rise again!”

Happy April Fools Day!