_{By Anwaya Mane}

There are two kinds of art: one that comforts you like a big bowl of hot fudge sundae topped with extra cream and nuts, and another that knocks at your door not when you crave it, but when you truly need it. This is the kind of art that shakes you, shapes you, and changes your life. Think of it as bitter-tasting green vegetables, not as tasty or tempting as ice cream, but far better for your artistic health and well-being.

My own life has changed a lot in the last couple of years. I have dealt with the death of a parent in what my loved ones would describe as undeniable grace and maturity. Yet when I was unceremoniously yelled at by a superior at work and removed from my job, I could not handle it. I spent endless hours consuming content I grew up on. I turned to art for love, comforting pats, and gentle reassurances. It felt soothing, but only momentarily.

I knew this would not last; it should not. I chose Jake Haws’ Starting Over as the first piece I would write about this year. Strangely, I already knew I would love the album even when I was petrified of starting over. It stripped me of my familiar mundanity and crippling under-confidence, reframing itself as a companion to sit with, sulk with, and share silences. 

Haws’ fourth studio album, Starting Over, was written and recorded during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to his website, “the album’s themes center around getting through dark times and finding light at the end of the tunnel.” It cannot be just a coincidence that American legend Chris Stapleton’s fourth studio album is also titled Starting Over. Interestingly, Haws ranked it as one of his top-ten favorite albums of 2020 as well.

The placement of each song in Haws’ Starting Over is like putting pieces together to complete a puzzle. Each song fits and, more importantly, carries the narrative forward. I particularly loved the songs. Every lyric is personal and speaks to you without sounding preachy.

I particularly enjoyed listening to “Figuring This Out” and “Someone Else.” These tracks stood out to me the most, as they mirror my current state of mind the best. Just like the title, I, too, am “figuring out” everything around me. Am I doing this right? Should I settle for a stable, decent-paying, assembly-line kind of job or let my instincts take over and take up a creatively fulfilling but high-risk job? Or should I read a book collecting dust on my shelf or binge another Netflix show to kill time? You get the drift…

According to Haws, “Someone Else” is deeply influenced by Elliott Smith’s “The Biggest Lie” from his 1995 self-titled album. The song also has musical traces of Fleet Foxes’ “Can I Believe You.”

However, Haws’ “Someone Else” echoes an impossible to-ignore imposter syndrome. The lyrics are painfully honest. Some of my favorite lines are: “Wish I was someone else / I’m so tired of being myself.” The instrumentation is melancholic yet melodious, with Haws’ gentle, soothing voice lullabying over a soft, echoey piano sound.

It is tough to critique albums that are born out of an artist’s personal identity, experiences, or life story. As a writer and a consumer of art, how am I supposed to criticize what is subjective? As part of my research, I extensively read through Haws’ website, where he discussed the making of Starting Over, his inspirations, and how it all came to fruition. I sincerely appreciate his effort, and the fact that it comes from a place of uncertainty or vulnerability makes it perfect.

After all, truly great art is neither wholly about comfort nor criticism. It is about going forward as who we’ve become.

Make sure to follow Jake Haws on Instagram. You can listen to “Someone Else” below!